A dear friend and I were talking about our “roles” and priorities. We discussed that our main “roles” in the season of life we are in, in the order of priority are:
- I am a child of God;
- I am a wife;
- I am a mother, trainer, and teacher of our children;
- I am a minister and servant to the church.
I must plant, water, and cultivate in order to grow and produce a harvest in each of these areas. My journey with Jesus must come first and I must diligently seek Him and His word daily. My journey with my husband comes next. (I will expand on what I’m doing in the other areas in later posts. But I will state here, that if any of these get out of balance or out of order, something suffers… my spirit and soul, the strength and joy in my marriage, and, or, the spirits, souls, and joy of my children.)
One of the ways I cultivate and grow as a wife and strengthen my relationship with my dear husband is to read and listen to messages and attend seminars specifically about marriage. My husband and I just completed the 8-session Marriage Matters course by Steve and Megan Scheibner with several couples from our church. Along with that, I am reading Megan Scheibner’s book, The Wise Wife.
The course blessed us all SO much. It drew my husband and I closer to each other and to the Lord. And Megan’s book has been one of the most honest and solid books I’ve read! I’m so thankful for it all!!!
All of the sessions in Marriage Matters and several chapters in The Wise Wife hit home and caused me to re-calibrate my thinking, but my favorite part of both was the discussion of how to hand offenses (Session 7 of Marriage Matters, and Chapter 10 of The Wise Wife). On page 233-234, Megan writes:
“If you can learn to repent, seek forgiveness, and restore quickly, your marriage will be strengthened and solidified on a rock-solid foundation. Time, space, and apology do not bring about the same resolution to strife… When we don’t deal with strife according to the biblical model of repentance, seeking forgiveness, and initiating restoration we cause infection in the marriage relationship. I think of it this way: Using any means other than the biblical means of resolving conflict is like putting a Band-Aid on an open and gaping wound [without ever cleaning out the wound] …In a few days, when you pulled that bandage off the wound would be just as ugly, and in fact it would probably be red and filled with the puss of infection… Relational wounds in our marriage act just like that physical injury.”
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want any infection in my marriage! I want love, joy, fun, passion, and healthy growth every. singe. day! This is what I strive for. This is what brings the gospel home. This is what makes my marriage represent Jesus and His bride, the church (Ephesians 3) to my children and all who know us. This is the goal… bringing glory to Jesus in my marriage and all areas of my journey.
I thank God for the Scheibners and others who minister to marriage! They have helped me so much on my journey of marriage!
Do you have any marriage or parenting cds you can send me?
Sure! I’d be happy to. 😊
Sure! I’d be happy to😊